Black Hawk Down On the Boardwalk

Posted in Links at 3:50 pm by Sam

I’m confused.


  1. K.T. Slager (55) said,

    August 9, 2007 at 11:45 pm

    Um. So am I.

    Clue at least had characters. Monopoly just has the Nineteenth-Century Banker.

    Actually… I was a teacher’s assistant in a film class last year and one of the students made a movie about Monopoly for his final. Well, the game was a central part of the movie. Actually it was “Lord of the Rings” monopoly.

  2. Sam (405) said,

    August 10, 2007 at 10:33 am

    Yeah. Well, it’s got a dog. Actually, that’s the answer isn’t it? It’s got a dog. Dog movies don’t need anybody else. I’m up for a movie about a cute little dog that runs around stealing sausages and foreclosing mortgages.

    Wait, now that you mention it, there *are* other characters, too. There’s the cop. That’ll be a real moment for Monopoly fans, the build-up to the climactic whistle-blowing scene, where somebody gets sent to jail for speeding. Then there’s the in-mate, forlornly gazing through the bars at glorious freedom.

    And what about the shoe? I’m sure a good writer will be able to develop a satisfying character arc about the shoe, who tramps around town, staying at all the best hotels and occasionally renting four whole houses just for a night’s sleep, until finally his extravagant lifestyle drives him to bankruptcy. Or the top hat, an enthusiastic entrepreneur, eager to establish economical housing — until he is forced out of business by exorbitant taxation. Yes, Monopoly is sure to be a resounding expose on the terrible way articles of clothing are financially oppressed by high utility fees, unjust tax laws, and that one cop.

  3. joem18b (231) said,

    August 10, 2007 at 4:22 pm

    1. A Hard Scrabble (1897)
    2. The Scarlet Clue (1945)
    3. Chess Fever (1925)
    4. All On Account of Checkers (1912)
    5. Chinese Checkers (1964)
    6. Mono-Poly (1888)

    Honorable mention: High Risk (1981), Charade (1963), Blindman’s Bluff (2000), War (2007), and yes, Strip Poker (1912)

  4. K.T. Slager (55) said,

    August 10, 2007 at 5:18 pm

    Ah, and there’s the battleship, too, unless I’m thinking of the game Battleship instead. I’m sure there’s upwards of fifty, sixty sailors on there. Miniature sailors, as it were, since the dog is bigger than the ship. And the car is probably sentient.

  5. LaZorra (60) said,

    August 12, 2007 at 6:27 pm

    Mr. Scott is completely bonkers, as evidenced by his quote in that article.

    As far as shoe characters goes, a student at last year’s CSU media arts festival won first prize for his short film, “Adventures of Leftshoe the Bunny Slipper.” (I would link to it for sheer amusement’s sake, but the site appears to be down.) So you never know.

    Personally, I think the entire film will focus on the cowboy, suddenly finding himself travelling to the heart of the city to rescue his runaway dog, and his horse’s amusing antics as he learns to deal with traffic (notably old-fashioned racecars), things that blow in the wind (like top hats), and getting sneaked into hotel rooms. (Hey, have YOU ever tried to get a hotel manager to find a place for your horse to stay?)

  6. Nyperold (116) said,

    August 13, 2007 at 2:50 am

    Well, wait, I think there’s an idea here. Okay, okay, picture this. Imagine there are people living on the board. Only instead of squares, there are actually streets there. And the people are just trying to go about their daily lives as GIANT METAL PIECES OF DEATH AND DESTRUCTION are struck against the streets in turn. And somebody comments that they wish the players would simply count the intervening squares and just place their METAL PIECES OF DEATH AND DESTRUCTION on the destination square.

  7. wintermute (157) said,

    August 13, 2007 at 11:15 am

    Nyp: I think Michael Bay just made that film…

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